grief – Derby Public Library's Blog

Monica’s Musings: One Italian Summer

One Italian Summer by Rebecca Serle

“I cannot yet conceive of a world without her, what that will look like, who I am in her absence.”
― Rebecca Serle, One Italian Summer

Summary: When Katy’s mother dies, she is left reeling. Carol wasn’t just Katy’s mom, but her best friend and first phone call. She had all the answers and now, when Katy needs her the most, she is gone. To make matters worse, their planned mother-daughter trip of a lifetime looms: two weeks in Positano, the magical town Carol spent the summer right before she met Katy’s father. Katy has been waiting years for Carol to take her, and now she is faced with embarking on the adventure alone.

But as soon as she steps foot on the Amalfi Coast, Katy begins to feel her mother’s spirit. Buoyed by the stunning waters, beautiful cliff sides, delightful residents, and, of course, delectable food, Katy feels herself coming back to life.

And then Carol appears—in the flesh, healthy, sun-tanned, and thirty years old. Katy doesn’t understand what is happening, or how—all she can focus on is that she has somehow, impossibly, gotten her mother back. Over the course of one Italian summer, Katy gets to know Carol, not as her mother, but as the young woman before her. She is not exactly who Katy imagined she might be, however, and soon Katy must reconcile the mother who knew everything with the young woman who does not yet have a clue.

My thoughts: Katy strikes me as a little too codependent and a bit too invested in her mother’s life choices, however, the pain of her loss resonated with me. Katy chooses to still go on the mother-daughter vacation she had planned, leaving her husband Eric at home. She plans to use this time to rediscover her life without her mother around.

I enjoyed this one quite a bit. It did remind me of Serle’s first novel, In Five Years. The magical time-jumping aspects of her books are fun, and I find that I enjoy them because they are more fictional than most of my reads.

I really liked the concept of Katy meeting and spending time with Carol as a 30 year old. I’ve thought so many times, “what I would do to be a fly on the wall in the past lives of my parents”, just to know and see what they were like before I came along. It’s one thing to see pictures and hear stories, but it would be another thing entirely to experience it. That aspect of this novel was fascinating.

Where I falter on this one is the romance aspect. *A few spoilers in the paragraph directly below*

Monica’s Musings: Crying in H Mart

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

“In fact, she was both my first and second words: Umma, then Mom. I called to her in two languages. Even then I must have known that no one would ever love me as much as she would.” ― Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

Summary: A memoir about growing up Korean American, losing her mother, and forging her own identity.

Michelle Zauner tells of growing up one of the few Asian American kids at her school in Eugene, Oregon; of struggling with her mother’s particular, high expectations of her; of a painful adolescence; of treasured months spent in her grandmother’s tiny apartment in Seoul, where she and her mother would bond, late at night, over heaping plates of food.

As she grew up, moving to the East Coast for college, finding work in the restaurant industry, performing gigs with her fledgling band—and meeting the man who would become her husband—her Koreanness began to feel ever more distant, even as she found the life she wanted to live. It was her mother’s diagnosis of terminal cancer when Michelle was twenty-five, that forced a reckoning with her identity and brought her to reclaim the gifts of taste, language, and history her mother had given her.

My thoughts: Michelle was only 25 when she lost her mother to cancer. Michelle and her mother had many ups and downs, especially in her adolescence and early adulthood. This emotionally intense memoir reflects the complex nature of the mother-and-daughter relationship while representing Korean culture, traditions, rituals, and hierarchical patterns.

Michelle finally attempts to see things from her mother’s perspective and realizes the importance of her life lessons. It is impossible not to be shaken to the core or not to feel the intense pain Michelle had as she said goodbye to her mother. This book is great for anyone who would like to relate to grief or who wants to understand it more. Losing family is something no one fully prepares for. I would rate this highly for the author’s ability to portray such a drastic life event in a way readers can emotionally understand.

What’s Ashley Reading?: The Guncle

The Guncle by Steven Rowley

First line: All right, here goes nothing.

Summary: Patrick loves spending time with his niece and nephew. But only for short times. He isn’t prepared when their mother dies and their father has his own health problems to deal with, leaving him to take care of Maisie and Grant. Implementing his “Guncle rules” he learns that taking care of the kids is more than treats and fun. As he helps them cope with their grief he comes to terms with the loss of his partner from years before.

My Thoughts: I have wanted to read this since it was released and finally picked it up for my recovery time after surgery. The cover is beyond cute and the premise really reminds me of Mame starring Lucille Ball. I listened to the audiobook which was read by the author who brings the character of Patrick to life. He has the sass and the hilarious Guncle vibes making the book even more enjoyable.

I loved seeing Patrick grow throughout the story. He was thrown into this situation but he changed and dealt with his own demons. It is just a heartwarming story of family and resilience with a sharp witted Guncle in the starring role. If you need something to read on vacation, a feel good story or a good belly laugh then I highly recommend picking this book up! And Guncle will return in May 2024!

Monica’s Musings: Mrs. Nash’s Ashes

Mrs. Nash’s Ashes by Sarah Adler

“When it comes down to it, a promise is little more than an earnest intention; I’ve learned that the universe tends to laugh at those and do its own thing anyway.”

― Sarah Adler, Mrs. Nash’s Ashes

Summary: Millicent is on a mission. When she promised her elderly best friend that she’d reunite her with the woman she fell in love with nearly eighty years ago, she never imagined that would mean traveling from D.C. to Key West with three tablespoons of Mrs. Nash’s remains in her backpack. But Millie’s determined to give her friend a symbolic happily-ever-after before it’s too late—and hopefully reassure herself of love’s lasting power in the process.

She just didn’t expect to have a living travel companion. After a computer glitch grounds flights, Millie is forced to catch a ride with Hollis, an also-stranded acquaintance of her ex’s. Hollis certainly does not believe in happily-ever-afters and makes it quite clear that he can’t fathom Millie’s plan ending well for anyone.

But as they contend with peculiar bed-and-breakfasts, unusual small-town festivals, and deer with a death wish, Millie begins to suspect that her reluctant travel partner might enjoy her company more than he lets on. Because for someone who supposedly doesn’t share her views on romance, Hollis sure is becoming invested in the success of their journey. And the closer they get to their destination, the more Millie has to admit that maybe this trip isn’t just about Mrs. Nash’s love story after all—maybe it’s also about her own.

My Thoughts: This was such a sweet and delightful read! It does not get much quirkier than a road trip that includes the ashes of an elderly woman. I loved the sunshine and grump thing between Millie and Hollis so much, but Millie really stole the show for me. She’s such a ball of sunshine, a true romantic at heart, and her sense of humor and eccentric behavior were so much fun. It made me laugh, but I also loved the author’s portrayal of grief and how everything is not wrapped up in a shiny package. Overall, it is an uplifting and heartwarming romance.

Monica’s Musings: Forever, Interrupted

Forever, Interrupted by Taylor Jenkins Reid

“Sweetheart, I’m telling you, you love someone like that, you love them the right way, and no time would be enough. Doesn’t matter if you had thirty years,” she tells me. “It wouldn’t be enough.” ― Taylor Jenkins Reid, Forever, Interrupted

Summary: Elsie Porter is an average twenty-something, and yet what happens to her is anything but ordinary. On a rainy New Year’s Day, she heads out to pick up a pizza for one. She isn’t expecting to see anyone else in the shop, much less the adorable and charming Ben Ross. Their chemistry is instant and electric. Ben cannot even wait twenty-four hours before asking to see her again. Within weeks, the two are head over heels in love. By May, they’ve eloped.

Only nine days later, Ben is out riding his bike when he is hit by a truck and killed on impact. Elsie hears the sirens outside her apartment, but by the time she gets downstairs, he has already been whisked off to the emergency room. At the hospital, she must face Susan, the mother-in-law she has never met—and who doesn’t even know Elsie exists.

Interweaving Elsie and Ben’s charmed romance with Elsie and Susan’s healing process, Forever, Interrupted, will make you laugh, make you cry, and remind you that there’s more than one way to live happily ever after.

My Thoughts: This book absolutely broke my heart and made me cry in the best ways. I felt all the emotions that this love story brought on. Please do yourself a favor, and pick up a copy of this book and a cozy blanket because you will not want to stop once you start. This was Taylor Jenkins Reid’s first novel, published in 2013, and I did not anticipate it to be so good! I loved The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, and can definitely say that I am a fan of her writing.

I finished this book in a day, and I was shocked at how rich this plot was. I was not expecting such a heart-wrenching experience. Sometimes you just need a good cry book, and this was definitely that for me!

Monica’s Musings: Maame

Maame by Jessica George

“Accept that your life is different now because of this monumental, irreversible change and that it’s okay to feel guilty one day and indescribable happiness another. This is life now. This is how you live.”
― Jessica George, Maame

Summary: Maame (ma-meh) has many meanings in Twi but in my case, it means woman.

It is fair to say that Maddie’s life in London is far from rewarding. With a mother who spends most of her time in Ghana (yet still somehow manages to be overbearing), Maddie is the primary caretaker for her father, who suffers from advanced-stage Parkinson’s. At work, her boss is a nightmare, and Maddie is tired of always being the only Black person in every meeting.

When her mom returns from her latest trip to Ghana, Maddie leaps at the chance to get out of the family home and finally start living. She finds a flatshare, says yes to after-work drinks, pushes for more recognition in her career, and throws herself into the bewildering world of internet dating. But it is not long before tragedy strikes, forcing Maddie to face the true nature of her unconventional family.

Smart, funny, and deeply affecting, Jessica George’s Maame deals with the themes of our time with humor and poignancy: from familial duty and racism to the complexity of love. Most importantly, it explores what it feels like to be torn between two homes and cultures, and it celebrates finally finding where you belong.

My Thoughts: Maddie is a very naive 25-year-old navigating the world as she has just moved out. Throughout the book, she is asking Google how she should handle all of these situations coming up in her life, and it is pretty hilarious. The author did a fantastic job portraying Maddie’s emotions because it feels like you are experiencing this new world right along with her!

I was fully immersed and engaged in her life as she faced all her ups and downs. It is sad sometimes and sweet at others. The relationship between Maddie and her father is very moving and is written with empathy and love. You will want to yell at her mother and brother, whose selfish use of Maddie makes you so angry.

This is a book that takes you on a journey. It includes some difficult topics such as; grief, microaggressions, and depression, but does so really well and with sensitivity. I love the ending, or better yet, I love the whole book!

Monica’s Musings: This Time Tomorrow

This Time Tomorrow by Emma Straub

“The way you spend your days is the way you spend your life.” ― Emma Straub, This Time Tomorrow

Summary:

It is the eve of her 40th birthday, and Alice’s life is not terrible. She likes her job, even if it is not exactly what she expected. She is happy with her apartment, romantic status, independence, and best friend. But her father is sick, and it feels like something is missing.

When she wakes up the next morning, she finds herself back in 1996, reliving her 16th birthday. Being back in high school shocks her, but what is even more shocking is her dad: the 40-something version of her father. Now, with a new perspective on her life and his, some past events take on new meaning. Is there anything that she would change if she could?

My Thoughts:

I love how the ‘time travel’ does not give the story science fiction vibes but it enhances the story of Alice’s emotional journey. She struggles with the impending loss of her dad as she reflects on her teenage years.

Straub urges us to realize that what we have now, we will look back on in the future as perfection. This is a story of do-overs. It is a story of loving what you have. When Alice time-travels back to when she was 16, she is blown away at how young her father looked and how healthy he was. She is also shocked that she did not see herself as she was: young, intelligent, and attractive.

It stirs questions in the reader about happiness and the satisfaction level in one’s own life. What would you change in your life if you could? I enjoyed this book and would highly recommend it!