Tag: mother daughter relationship

Monica’s Musings: Crying in H Mart

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

“In fact, she was both my first and second words: Umma, then Mom. I called to her in two languages. Even then I must have known that no one would ever love me as much as she would.” ― Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

Summary: A memoir about growing up Korean American, losing her mother, and forging her own identity.

Michelle Zauner tells of growing up one of the few Asian American kids at her school in Eugene, Oregon; of struggling with her mother’s particular, high expectations of her; of a painful adolescence; of treasured months spent in her grandmother’s tiny apartment in Seoul, where she and her mother would bond, late at night, over heaping plates of food.

As she grew up, moving to the East Coast for college, finding work in the restaurant industry, performing gigs with her fledgling band—and meeting the man who would become her husband—her Koreanness began to feel ever more distant, even as she found the life she wanted to live. It was her mother’s diagnosis of terminal cancer when Michelle was twenty-five, that forced a reckoning with her identity and brought her to reclaim the gifts of taste, language, and history her mother had given her.

My thoughts: Michelle was only 25 when she lost her mother to cancer. Michelle and her mother had many ups and downs, especially in her adolescence and early adulthood. This emotionally intense memoir reflects the complex nature of the mother-and-daughter relationship while representing Korean culture, traditions, rituals, and hierarchical patterns.

Michelle finally attempts to see things from her mother’s perspective and realizes the importance of her life lessons. It is impossible not to be shaken to the core or not to feel the intense pain Michelle had as she said goodbye to her mother. This book is great for anyone who would like to relate to grief or who wants to understand it more. Losing family is something no one fully prepares for. I would rate this highly for the author’s ability to portray such a drastic life event in a way readers can emotionally understand.

What’s Ashley Reading?: My Darling Girl

My Darling Girl by Jennifer McMahon

First line: “Ali Alligator?” my mother whispered as she crept into my room, slipped under my heavy quilt, cuddled up next to me on my twin bed.

Summary: With Christmas on the horizon, Alison receives a phone call that her mother has cancer with only weeks left to live. Making the difficult decision to allow her mother to spend her last days with Alison and her family she wonders if they can heal the wounds of her childhood. As her mother moves in, Alison is reminded of the horrors her alcoholic and abusive mother put her through. But with each passing day Alison notices strange changes in the woman she knew. Who is or what is her mother? And can Alison stop whatever has taken hold in her house before it infects her family?

My Thoughts: This is one of those books that is perfect for this time of year. It’s a spooky Christmas story with a dark entity stalking our main character. There is a rising tension throughout the book leading up to the final chapter. Alison is plagued by her memories but keeps hoping for a better end but as a reader we know that this will never happen. Something has taken over Mavis. As the story continues you can see Alison’s fear and obsession taking over making conflict with others around her.

I loved/hated the relationship between Mavis and her granddaughter, Olivia. It was menacing. She is having her call her a strange name and keeping secrets from Alison. You instantly feel like something bad is on the horizon. As more is revealed about who Mavis really is and her back story the pieces start to fall into place. It is pretty easy to tell what a catalyst for the evil in the house is but it takes a while to dawn on Alison.

The story is more character driven as Alison deals with her past demons and her relationships. I never felt that I could completely trust her and her memories. But I got a shock in the last chapter that gave me chills! Such a fun read for either October or Christmas time.

What’s Ashley Reading?: Mothered

Mothered by Zoje Stage

First line: Silas loved a good puzzle, especially if it involved the interlocking pieces of science and soul, the known and the unknown.

Summary: Grace had just bought her first home when the COVID pandemic hit, she lost her job as a hairstylist and now her mother wants to move in with her. They never had a great relationship and the hours spent together start to strain their nerves. Grace starts having nightmares about her twin who died when they were young and struggles to differentiate between what is real and what is a dream. And then her mother reveals a dark secret from their past but Grace cannot believe her. There is no way that things happened the way her mother claims. Is her mother trying to drive her mad? Who and what can Grace believe anymore if she cannot trust her own mother?

My Thoughts: This book was STRANGE! It was a fever dream almost literally. Grace tilts back and forth between moments of sanity and bouts of fear and nightmares. She is a very unreliable narrator. But really it is more like the book who is unreliable. So many chapters are dream sequences filled with Grace’s fears and memories. Everything seemed just so wild until I realized that it was another dream.

Neither of the main characters was very likeable but Jackie, Grace’s mother, was awful. She seems like the ideal mother who cooks, cleans and is sweet to your friends but she can quickly use guilt and manipulation. I kept waiting for her to crack and cause some harm to Grace or the cat.

The setting of isolation during the pandemic set the perfect atmosphere for the downward spiral of these two women. Luckily I was still able to work at times during the pandemic because I can see how it easy it would be to lose touch with reality being home bound for long periods of time. The beginning of the story dragged on a little after a catchy first chapter and then it picked up at the end as tensions finally reached a climax. This is not as a good as Baby Teeth but still a chilling WTF book.