Category: Reading

Women Rowing North: Navigating Life’s Currents and Flourishing as We Age by Mary Pipher

First line: “There are many lifetimes in a lifetime.”

Summary

As the title suggests, Women Rowing North considers the issues women face as they cross into old age. Pipher approaches the subject as the clinical psychologist and cultural anthropologist she is, but also as an aging woman herself who knows intimately the waters she discusses. She illuminates the joys and struggles of being an older woman through the stories of other women’s lives. The women she has interviewed are from various walks of life and offer their experiences of ageism, sexism, and loss, but also of increased confidence, gratitude, and a changing perspective.

Pipher goes beyond simply reviewing the issues women face as they age; she also gives guidance on how to age, highlighting the importance of community, family, and of appreciating the good things in life despite the ever-present bad. One such chapter titled Building a Good Day begins with a quote from Iris Mudoch: “One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats.”

My thoughts

As a woman approaching middle-age faster than I’m comfortable with, I can say I’m terrified of getting old but actively trying not to be. You don’t have to be 80 or even 50 before you start to see invisibility slowly taking effect. Yet like the women in the book, with each passing year I gain confidence and lose concern with what others think of me. Getting older is also freeing. Reading this book helped me grab onto the real positives of aging and gave me an idea of how to cultivate a healthy approach to the process. It is fascinating to read the first-hand accounts of other women’s experiences with growing older and to see their strategies for coping with a shifting landscape.

The Calculating Stars by Mary Robinette Kowal

First line: Do you remember where you were when the meteor hit?

Summary and Thoughts: This science fiction book is set in an alternate timeline during the Cold War when a meteor struck the United Sates and sent the world into a forever cloudiness and accelerating the change of climate. Elma York, a military airplane flyer and mathematics doctorate, is with her husband Nathaniel York, head engineer of NACA, the book’s equivalent to NASA, in a cabin in the woods when a meteor hits and wipes out the east coast of the United States. The result is the climate rapidly changing to where the Earth becomes inhabitable, meaning humans must find a way to leave the planet quickly. But during an era where both women and people of color are still looked at as beneath men who were white, even as the main focus should be coming together for an important cause, this means that the characters have to go beyond to prove themselves worthy of being in the space program and even astronauts.

As far as plot and characters go, this book was unique. Even if this book focused on how racism and sexism do hold back innovation and societal progression, women and ethnic characters were not just their identities, though the hardships they faced do help shape them. I liked that the women felt like real heroes you can read in history books. I did get frustrated at how the main character behaved at times, but I felt like the behavior I didn’t like from her was justified in many of the situations Elma was placed in. I also loved how Kowal wasn’t shy about writing about women being medicated for issues such as anxiety back then. Elma York’s anxiety was written so real and not romanticized, I can feel good about recommending this book to people and not have to worry about the issue of am I doing a disservice to those with anxiety. This book was a comforting and inspiring read, I would recommend this book to people looking for some motivation to overcome difficult obstacles.

FYI: There are strong references to sexual acts as well as characters dealing with racism and sexism.

Calypso by David Sedaris

First Lines: “Though there’s an industry built on telling you otherwise, there are few real joys to middle age. The only perk I can see is that, with luck, you’ll acquire a guest room.”

Summary

If there is a theme among this collection of essays, it would be family. Sedaris is fiercely loyal and loving when it comes to his own, but he also isn’t afraid to describe their less attractive qualities. We learn of the overly-tanned skin of one of his sisters as well as his father’s hammer toes, but his love for them is never in question.

Throughout the essays, Sedaris seems to be grappling with reaching middle age, but in a way that makes you genuinely laugh out loud.

He reflects on the complicated relationship he shares with his father, who he knows won’t be around much longer, and looks back on life with his mother, who died of cancer in her own middle age. While spending time with his family at the North Carolina beach house he purchased, they recount stories of their sister Tiffany who committed suicide just before her 50th birthday. While these can make for sad stories, they are also poignant and hilarious. Sedaris has the talent of making his reader laugh at the bleakest of situations.

My Thoughts

Sedaris is one of the very few writers who unfailingly makes me laugh and cry within a mere five pages. His ability to find comedy in pain is admirable and his skill in communicating as much through writing his uncanny. Although I only have two siblings instead of the five Sedaris grew up with, I can relate to his close-knit sibling relationships. Reading essays of the Sedaris siblings lounging and talking on a beach blanket, I felt my family would have fit right in.